Not all Dots have to be Good Dots!

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A very close friend of mine keeps saying, "I'll never hurt her (his girlfriend, of course); I'll never bring tears to her eyes, never cause her pain..." blah, blah, blah. 
Is that even real? Yes it is.
But is it practical? Noooo, please.

A very surreal mistake we keep making in our precious bonds, is we expect way too much of ourselves, more than the other person expects from us. Then, we inevitably increase their hopes. And then we fail to keep those hopes alive. And then curse ourselves. And then runaway from that relationship! Hang on dude... Why???

Not because you are a failure, no. But you failed. You failed at being successful at something which was meant to collapse. 

When you tie close knots with someone, it is obvious that at times the knot will cause strain, get stretched and push and pull you. That doesn't signal that you need to break that attachment. 

In every adventure of life, we collapse when our hopes collapse. When the other person is hurt, we try to mend & make it up to them. Good Thing. But when you can't look at their eyes, it is because you see a reflection of your image who failed.

Failed at what?
Failed at your own self employed mission of "I'll never hurt you darling". Bizzare Idea. 

A coin with heads on both sides is rare but has no market value! Any relationship cannot be "all-goodie-goodie". That's fun. That's not a bond. If it is a bonding, it'll hurt. It'll cause pain & happiness, merriment & irritation, joy & madness. The binaries come along. They are not different & divided!

A relation will cause colineation. That line will be formed by connecting millions of dots. Now you cannot expect all dots to be good dots! 
Grow up?

If, you are looking for a healthy relationship: don't be afraid of those uncomfortable conversations. If you are looking forward to save your precious bonds, save yourself first from such claustrophobic expectations.

Not the other. You are expecting too much and it will get too heavy. Why to expect things which are out of your league?

Hurting & Sporting go hand in hand. Just make sure, you don't deliberately and consciously choose to hurt them. 

So, focus on Loving them, not on "not hurting them". Simple 🐾😉

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